Healthy Relationships
Doorways ED, Linda Dunphy, during channel 8 interview about teen dating violence.
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What is a Healthy Relationship?
A healthy relationship is created and maintained when each person in the relationship engages in the following behaviors. Both people in the relationship must use these positive behaviors to make it healthy!
- Communication
- Shares thoughts and idea
Uses respectful language and gestures even in disagreement - Trust
- Is honest and accountable to partner
Is dependable and believes partner - Connection
- Has support from friends and family Feels there are other people to rely on besides partner
- Balance
- Has equal decision making power
Is able to “give” and “take” in the relationship - Safety
- Is emotionally supportive and encouraging
Is peaceful
Recognizing the Red Flags of Dating Abuse
An unhealthy relationship develops when one person uses the following behaviors to control their partner’s actions. It only takes one person using the following behaviors to make a relationship unhealthy, destructive and potentially dangerous.
- Jealousy
- Calls his/her partner over and over again
Gets angry when partner spends time with
other people - Emotional Abuse & Victim Blaming
- Uses derogatory language to describe partner
Consistently finds fault with partner
Makes partner feel bad about himself/herself - Isolation
- Makes all the decisions in the relationship
Persuades partner to give up activities s/he enjoys - Coercion
- Ignores partner’s wishes or needs
Manipulates partner - Physical & Sexual Abuse
- Forces partner to have sex or do sexual things
Grabs or pushes partner or throws/breaks objects
Do you work with a group of teens who you would like to learn more about dating violence? Invite a Doorways educator to speak to your group about healthy relationships and dating violence! Click here for more details about our Education Program.
Teach Your Teen Where to Find Resources and How to Support a Friend
Community Resources
Click below to learn more about how Doorways can support survivors of domestic violence:
Below are tips on how you (or your teen) can help someone who is in an unhealthy relationship:
Lend a listening ear. Tell your friend that you care and are willing to listen. Don’t force the issue, but allow your friend to confide in you at his/her own pace. Never blame your friend for what is happening or underestimate his/her fear of potential danger. Focus on supporting your friend’s right to make his/her own decisions.
Become informed. Find out all the facts you can about dating violence. Click here to learn more about domestic/dating violence, what it is, how the cycle of violence is used and statistics.
Guide your friend to community services. Gather information about dating violence programs in your area. If your friend asks for advice on what s/he should do, share the information you’ve gathered. Encourage him/her to seek assistance.
If your friend decides to end the relationship. Assist him/her in making a plan to be safe. S/he may want to call a local domestic violence hotline to help create a “safety plan”. Click here to learn more about safety planning.
Focus on his/her strengths. Your friend has probably continually been told by the abusive person that s/he deserves the abuse and may believe this to be true. Give him/her emotional support. Help him/her examine his/her strengths and skills. Emphasize that s/he deserves a life that is free from violence.
Lead by example. At this stage in life, youth are learning how to make decisions about all relationships; those with parents, friends, and boyfriends or girlfriends. Promote healthy relationships in your life to teach and encourage healthy decisions making and relationship skills.
Talk to teens and young adults about healthy relationships. Educate yourself on the warning signs of dating abuse and what a healthy relationship should look like. Share this information with a young person in your life.
Support teens and youth in their dating relationships and create open, positive communication that encourages honesty. The first person a teen or young adult will go to with a concern about their relationship is a friend or family member. Think about how you would respond to keep the lines of communication open.
Support education. If you work with a youth group, invite an educator in to discuss the warning signs of dating abuse and how teens can be active bystanders if they see these signs in a friend’s relationship.
Locate resources. Resources such as the Red Flag Campaign can assist in educating teens and young adults about what a healthy relationship is.